“The Nightmare that was “Mr T”. www puttinghopetowork.com
“Do not conform yourselves to the standards of this world,
but let God transform you inwardly by a complete change of your mind.
Then you will be able to know the will of God – what is good
and is pleasing to him and is perfect.”
(Romans 12:2 GNB)
A dear friend shared an image with me that she found via Google (yay Google!!). I followed the link and was utterly delighted to read the associated post “Daily Affirmation: Take Every Thought Captive” by Jenny (a different Jenny), author of “The Littlest Way“. I highly recommend you read it through … lots of resources on her site too!
Every time I read this, I can’t help but smile! It’s not my artwork, but it does rather feel like she created it just for me. Don’t you think? 🙂
I’m so grateful that God did the work of “transforming me inwardly by a complete change of my mind.” (YAY GOD!!!)
Learning and Unlearning.
They are both required for true transformation.
Over the next few days I’ll be gathering some of the resources I’ve created over the years and share them with you in an upcoming post (or maybe on a new tab?). In the mean time, please feel free to comment below with a prayer request or to share of your own “transformation / change of mind.”
Have you ever been hoodwinked? I know, I know. It’s an old term that no one uses anymore, but I like the sound of it.
hoodwinked: bamboozled, duped, hoaxed
Of course you have! So have I! I’ve lost count of how many pieces of exercise equipment or magic pills or other resources I’ve purchased over the years that promised to help me loose 10-15 pounds in four weeks while burning away belly fat like it was wax thrown into a raging fire. Or what about that “very reliable and in excellent condition” used car that seemed like such a wise (even frugal) purchase at the time but turned out to be a money pit of repairs! Snookered! Hornswoggled! Deceived!
Generally speaking, “hoodwinked” isn’t a term used in the context of something positive. But when GOD is doing the hoodwinking … well that’s another story.
And that’s exactly what I feel happened to me this year … I got hoodwinked by God!
This same time last year, as is my practice, I was talking with Daddy God about the ups and downs of 2017 and questions I had about 2018. In truth, I was a little bit discouraged on a few fronts – particularly the blogging front. I’d been inconsistently posting throughout 2016 and 2017, in part because I was very busy launching a WOSB, and in part because I was discouraged by a low readership. Questions like “who am I writing this for?” and “if no one is reading this, why am I still writing?” were at the forefront of my mind. I asked the Lord if I should just shut down the blog altogether – and obviously, His answer was no. In fact, I’m pretty sure I heard Him clear His throat (ah-hem) and say “I never told you to stop writing”. Ouch! And that’s how I came about committing to a weekly blog post throughout the year 2018 – and since HOPE was what I needed to experience, I chose the subject “2018: A Year For Hope”
HOPE: a desire accompanied by confident expectation
Fast forward to April 2018. Readership was increasing (what a balm to my heart!) and I was painting again. “OK Lord, I think I can keep this up … what is the next subject?”
“For I know the plans I have for you”, declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (Jeremiah 29:11)
Wanting to honor my commitment to Him to post weekly, I did my best to listen to what He was impressing on me and then post about it … but I still felt there was a bigger subject, something that would take a few weeks to cover (like some of my 2014 and 2015 posts). But I wasn’t hearing what it was … so I just kept doing what I was doing.
And then, after a chance encounter with a young woman at a BigBox store, the Lord impressed upon me to tell my story (top to bottom) in chronological order. There was a part of me that quickly said “Yes, Lord. If that’s what you want me to do, I’ll do it.” But then there was another part that was slightly less enthusiastic about that whole idea. I mean it’s one thing to reveal all your warts and bruises within the context of a known audience (be it a group of trusted friends, or a group of fellow believers, or in a setting where there is still some level of intimacy and perhaps even anonymity). But to put the whole mess out there in cyberspace for anyone to read?? That caused me to pause, and to prayerfully think about it.
I have shared bits and pieces of my story many times over the years, but rarely (if ever) from start to finish. Lets face it, it’s a long story! 🙂
I started sharing my story in week #20 and it took to week #34 to get my story out, and to week #41 to wrap up some loose ends. That’s 21 weeks … about 5 months! That’s a lot of time to be digging around in the dirt of the backyard of your life. But I did it. I obeyed.
When I wrote the prologue for this blog series last December 2017, I had absolutely no idea what God was going to ask of me in May. If I had known, I might not have been so quick to say yes – might not have said yes at all – but by May 2018 I had already committed to writing a weekly blog post and was in desperate need of new subject matter.
Funny, God! Really funny!
He pulled the old bait-and-switch on me!
I got hoodwinked!
And how glad I am about it! As a result of this blog series, and more specifically the posts between #21 and #41, I’ve connected with many amazing people (some still walking through their journey, some on the overcoming side of the fence) who were blessed and encouraged by my candidness in sharing about a neglected and abuse childhood which set the stage for my disastrous choices as an adult. I never would have made these soul-spirit connections if I hadn’t have obeyed.
I also think God has an incredible sense of humor! He must have been smiling big when I prayed for multi-week subject matter in April! (Oh don’t you worry, daughter. I’ve got a subject in mind for you alright!!!!)
He is also extraordinarily kind to me, because never in a million years would I have imagined how healing (even after so much healing already) it would be to chronologically lay out all these pieces of my life. But it was, and in doing so I was able to put some pieces of the puzzle together in a way that I had never seen or understood before. Thank you for that Father!
My prayer in December 2017 was that 2018 would be a year for hope to come alive again in new and exciting ways. That dormant areas of my life would spring to life. That victories prayed and believed for would manifest. That breakthrough would swallow up constraint, and that my eyes would behold in 2018 the marvelous works of God in my life and that of my family.
It truly has been an year of hope for me and I pray it was for you too!
And where we need more hope still for 2019, let us be encouraged that He who began a good work is always (and I mean ALWAYS) faithful to complete it, through Christ Jesus! (Philippians 1:6)
Wishing you all a very blessed Christmas and a joyous New Year. See you in January 2019, writing about … well, I’m praying about that now 🙂 God bless!
I didn’t post last week. Instead, I celebrated Thanksgiving with family and friends. I hope you did the same!
In my last post, I was telling the story of when I heard God “clear His throat”, calling me on the carpet for my attitude. I had been moaning and groaning and complaining … having a very un-Christlike attitude towards my coworkers and managers. (If any of you are reading this, it’s an ugly confession that I’m not proud of, but you know it to be true regardless if admitted or not).
“You are not living up to your name”, He said.
It was sobering moment, like having the mirror turned towards me so that I could see my own reflection … and I did not like what I saw!
“The mouth speaks out of the overflow of the heart.” Luke 6:45
Instead of speaking out hope for the goodness of God to be seen in my life (in spite of temporary negative circumstances), I was speaking out words of failure and oppression and mean-spiritedness of the overflow of negativity that I had stored up in my heart as a result of being uncomfortable and frustrated by circumstances and the behavior of others.
So after apologizing to God (for being such a lousy representative of His character in the workplace), I committed to doing some repair work on my heart … because if my heart (mind and spirit) weren’t filled to the point of overflowing with the live-giving promises of God that are well able to turn around any situation I might ever face in life, then there was absolutely no hope of my ever speaking anything but fear and death and failure over my life. And I’d already experienced enough of that!
It didn’t happen overnight, but God is so kind!! He will always make Himself easily found to those who sincerely seek Him. He graciously met me where I was, and as I fed myself on Scripture and scripture-based teachings to encourage my faith, not only did my attitude elevate but my circumstances began to change. And not in the way you might expect.
My Pastor had recently preached a message and in it asked “What gets you up in the morning? What keeps you up at night?” He encouraged us that the answers to these questions would help provide insight into the way God had wired us individually to serve God and serve others, and were often were indicators for the profession God had uniquely equipped us for.
I’d long been dreaming about becoming self-employed, so I prayerfully tried to answer those questions with hopes God would reveal a new career path for me. Knowing that I’m hard-wired to help other people, at first I thought to try offering coaching services for professional development on LinkedIn. I led a few workshops within my church, and started envisioning how I might transition that into a part time career.
In the meantime, pressure in the workplace was mounting – and it was evident that something had to give. I had been looking, and had a few positive interviews under my belt – but I was still waiting for a formal job offer.
Then came a women’s weekend event at my church, and my prayer and expectation was that God would give me instruction during the event on what to do. Do I stay (and risk being pushed out of the organization), or do I leave (even before I secured a new job). And in ways that only God can do, He spoke to me through multiple means that weekend (through whispers of the Spirit during worship, through conversations with women during the event, and from the podium from the guest speaker) and I was absolutely confident that He was inviting me to quit my job and take a leap of faith out into the deep waters of the unknown and trust Him to make the way for me.
So I did! The next Monday, I went in and gave my two weeks notice!
“What you ‘SEE’ is where you will go; change your vision, change your life!” ~Bill Winston
And He did! Before the two weeks had run out, He whispered to me to call one of my old managers and ask about representation. Honestly, I really didn’t understand the implications of that at the time … I was simply responding to an inner prompting by the Holy Spirit. I made the call, and within just a few days I had a verbal agreement to become an Independent Sales Rep for them. BOOM!
Which necessitated my incorporating under an LLC.
Me: “I can’t do this Lord. I’ve never owned my own company before. I don’t know anything about how to do this.”
The LORD: “Can you learn?”
And this is how HOPEWELL Companies LLC was born. It’s been 5 years since my first steps towards self-employment, and over 4.5 years since incorporating as a WOSB. What a journey of faith this as been!!
“Your words are the forerunner of the events that are to come.” ~Charles Capps
But back to the painting (completed piece below). Back to the garden spot. Back to the power of the seed sown to either bring life and blessing, or death and cursing into my life. I’ve been so busy trying to run my business, and blog, and lead small groups, and pursue a few personal interests that I’ve become a sloppy gardner. I gotten tired, and distracted, and have been burning the candle at both ends … and as my reward I’ve now got weed-seed growing in my garden.
Time to go back to the basics! Time to pluck out those nasty old seeds of fear and doubt and discouragement and fatigue … and instead plant Living Word-Seeds like PERSISTANCE OF FAITH, DILIGENCE, HOPE IN THE PROMISE, and LOVE.
“Faith is what keeps those dreams alive, even when it seems as though they are dead and buried. That is the very nature of seeds. They go underground. They disappear. And while it may seem like they are dead, they are not. They’re just germinating, beneath the surface.” ~Mark Batterson, Draw The Circle
Have you been tending your garden? Are you harvesting what you want (because you’ve been sowing what you want to reap), or have you been harvesting what you don’t want (because you’ve not been mindful to guard your heart and guard your mouth)?
It is out of the overflow of your heart that word-seeds are planted in the garden spot of your soul. What’s growing in your garden?
It would greatly bless me to hear from you. Please take a moment to comment, encourage, or ask a question below.
======= All sketches and watercolors posted on this website are the sole property of the author and are for exclusive display on the website PuttingHopeToWork.com.
It was 2013. I was working at a company that I hated. Or more accurately, it was the practices and philosophies of the management team that I objected to. Foul language. Temper tantrums. Verbally berating employees. To put it simply, I was miserable and it showed, in my actions and in my words.
Until the day that God cleared His throat.
Let me explain.
Still single after divorcing “Mr T” some 20-years earlier, at age 50 I legally changed my last name to HOPEWELL … a name whispered to me by God, and which serves as a daily reminder to me to “hope well”. (pretty cool, huh?)
In 2011, I was part of a downsizing event. It was the first time in my working career that I’d ever been “let go” and it stung. Thankfully, when it happened I was smack dab in the midst of a FAITH-quest, feeding and feasting on everything I could get my hands on that had to do with learning how to speak FAITH vs FEAR. So when I was notified that Friday that my services were no longer needed, I calmly packed my belongings, and drove home speaking declarations like:
You know all my needs Lord, and I refuse to give way to fear about this.
Thank you Father, in advance, for the new job that You are preparing for me.
Every need that I have is met in you, Jesus. I trust you to take care of me.
“The Word that’s abiding in you, that’s alive in you, is the Word that talks to you. It’s the Word that leads you moment-by-moment as you go about your day. The abiding Word will come up in your heart, much like words and notes of a familiar song might spontaneously run through your mind.” ~Gloria Copeland, Putting Your Words To Work
I started that job with such enthusiasm, strongly desiring to honor God in that position by being more bold about my faith at work. By the end of my first week there, I had decorated my cubicle with calendars and posters that clearly identified me as a woman of faith and power. I was going to do great things for God at that company!
The Word that’s in you in abundance is also the Word you hear coming out of your mouth, for “out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks”. (Luke 6:45) … To conquer the challenges of the world, the flesh and the devil, you must have the spiritual strength within you that only the engrafted Word can provide. You have to be so established in the Word that it automatically rises up within you in a moment of crisis.”
Sadly, by late 2013, I’d taken most of those posters down. I knew I wasn’t being a very good representative for Christ, but I honestly hated going to work -hated the way they treated people -hated the way they treated me -and that hatred had corrupted my mouth to such an extent that instead of speaking God’s words over the situation all I did was gripe and grumble and mutter to myself (pretty much from 8-5pm) about how much I hated my job. You get the idea.
“Ehh-hem! You are not living up to your name.”
I love when God speaks to me, but it’s no fun to be on the receiving end of His correction. It was as though He held up a mirror, and my heart sunk at the reflection being returned to me. Gone was the woman of faith and power, replaced by a woman of paste and flour. Resentful and hard-hearted, critical of others and pridefully self-righteous. I was representing the exact opposite of a woman who “hoped well”, and unless I wanted God to change my name to “Miss Pissy Pants” I knew what I had to do.
I had to forgive. period. end of story.
I had to change my attitude.
And I was going to start by changing my words.
I’ll be honest – it was hard! Especially at the beginning!!! So to help keep me on track, I taped to my desk (just below my keyboard, so that only I could see it) a little affirmation based on a quote I’d heard from Charles Capps. When frustration threatened to overwhelm me, and I was tempted to gripe and grumble and internally cuss people out (*sigh*), I would instead make myself breathe and thank God that He was preparing for me “a perfect, well paying, and satisfying job”.
It didn’t happen overnight … but my heart changed … and relationships healed … and I regained a level of Christian influence with my colleagues … and then …. well, I’ll write about that next week when I reveal the finished painting. (I’m so excited!!)
I still wrestle with discouragement. I still have to guard my mouth. And recently, the Lord is reminding me that “keeping silent” can be as destructive as speaking “careless words”. Hmmm.
“As for me, this is my covenant with them”, says the Lord.
“My spirit, who is on you, and my words that I have put in your mouth will not depart from your mouth…..” (Isaiah 59:21)
If you would like to learn more about what the Bible has to say about the power of words, may I suggest this 31-day devotional “Putting Your Words to Work”, Gloria Copeland She is one of my favorite Bible teachers (probably because she reminds me so very much of my beloved Aunt Mac <3).
======= All sketches and watercolors posted on this website are the sole property of the author and are for exclusive display on the website PuttingHopeToWork.com.
I’m embarrassed to say that there was a time in my life (late teens-early 20’s) that I had quite a mouth on me. No, I didn’t have a potty mouth (my mom would have literally washed my mouth out with soap … and my perspective of God was that He was listening up there in heaven and would score me ‘negative points’ for cussing). Instead, I had a mean mouth. I knew how to use words to cut someone down to the quick in 3.5 seconds flat. I was actually kind of proud of that – how skilled I could be with my words – and if you crossed me (especially in the work place) you were probably going to be on the receiving end of some pretty mean-spirited words, skillfully crafted to inflict pain and let you know (in no uncertain terms) not to mess with me again.
I’ve already written (see My Story category) about my abusive second marriage. So I guess it was Mr. “T” that really helped me to understand how much words can hurt a soul. As a result, I became a little more thoughtful about my speech. Instead of just blurting out all the venomous words bubbling up, I learned to shut my mouth and first process my feelings/emotions … and then once I had control over my mouth (or at least thought I did), I would then try to speak my feelings. Good practice in life, but unfortunately doesn’t accomplish much good when you’re married to an abusive sociopath. Still, I learned some valuable lessons about the power of words during my almost 10-year marriage to him.
A single mom by age 31, my two young daughters provided me many (many) opportunities to practice managing my mouth. Countless opportunities to instill in their hearts the truth that words carry with them the powerto build someone up or to tear them down … and our house rules (in my house, at least), were to speak kindly.
But it wasn’t until my 50’s that I began to study what the Bible says about the power of words.
I’ve been working on my painting – and as I consider what the “Garden Spot of the Soul” might look like, I can’t help but imagine what the Adam and Eve might have experienced during their walks with God ‘in the cool of the day’. (Genesis 3:8-9)
“In the beginning, God placed everything that man could use and enjoy in the Garden. God saw to it Adam lacked nothing. He lacked no good thing. He was created in the image of God Himself, leaving nothing to be desired.
God furnished Adam with companionship, ability, abundance, and a kingdom. He told Adam to be fruitful, multiply, fill the earth, subdue it and have dominion over every living creature. Adam was the master of the Garden, and God was the master of Adam. God’s man was free in every way!”
God designed a world in which His highest creation, mankind, would live in community with Him. And similar to how God used His creative power to create time, space, and everything that was created (John 1:1-3), Adam was given a level of creative power in order to subdue and have dominion over a portion of God’s creation. And the way that Adam exercised that power was through words … the very same mechanism that God used to speak the galaxies into existence.
“The Sower sows the word” Mark 4:14
Adam’s words had power. Power for Life and Blessing. Power for Death and Cursing.
“He (Adam) knew no bondage until that fatal day when …
Every phase of Adam’s life came under the curse of his new god, Satan. He was driven from the Garden; abundance was no longer his to enjoy. He had to toil and sweat in order to survive. His beautiful life was overrun with thorns and thistlesboth in the physical world and in the spiritual world.”
And there we have it … the entrance of thorns and thistles. They were brought into being by negative and contrary words spoken by Adam and Eve (words that don’t say what God says and don’t agree with God’s declared will), thus sowing seeds of death and cursing instead of seeds of life and blessing.
I quickly snapped this picture to show my progress – the lighting is poor and clearly I’ve a long ways left to go. But I’m trying to lay colors down in layers this time – to take it slow and let it evolve naturally. Hopefully I can keep this going without having to start over again. We’ll see. 🙂
Excerpts quoted are from the book “God’s Will Is Prosperity” by Gloria Copeland.
All sketches and watercolors posted on this website are the sole property of the author and are for exclusive display on the website PuttingHopeToWork.com.