I married “T” on my 21st birthday just two weeks after my divorce finalized. Red flags started going off almost immediately, but I ignored them. I had to. Acknowledging that I might have made a mistake would have meant that I’d be alone again, that I’d be a failure again. And my battered psyche just couldn’t handle that. I needed him, because I needed to be needed and he made me feel needed…. Continue reading 2018: A Year For Hope (Week 28)
In this next part of my story …. well, there is a lot about it that I am ashamed of. Ashamed of my behavior, ashamed of what I let happen to me, and of what I let happen to those that I love. And I wonder what will be the consequence…. Continue reading 2018: A Year For Hope (Week 27)
Marriage was supposed to fix everything, it was supposed to mean forever and always. And yet there I was, 20 years old and so completely unloved and unwanted that my husband watched me move out without doing a single thing to stop me. It was absolutely devastating and was the perfect set-up for … Continue reading 2018: A Year For Hope (Week 26)
It took me a long time to get to this place of understanding, but I now know that the people who inflicted the most pain on my young soul were each dealing with their own family histories and experiences as best they could. The truth is, …. Continue reading 2018: A Year For Hope (Week 25)
But sin is not the only thing at work on this earth – the love of the Father is at work. His Light seeks out and finds points of entrance through the darkness of fear, shame, loss and evil. Streaks of light break through the barrier of trunks, branches, leaves and overgrowth. The illumination of His love provides a roadmap for a way out. Continue reading 2018: A Year For Hope (Week 23)
It seemed like nonsense to me…and then it happened. Like the movies you see of a spacecraft going through hyperspace, where all the stars swish by so fast it looks like you’re traveling through a tunnel, all the sudden I ‘swooshed’ back approx. 25 years. And what I encountered shook me so deeply … Continue reading 2018: A Year For Hope (Week 22)
The house is beautiful, inviting, and no doubt the repository of many happy family memories. But the house also holds secrets, and no amount of paint or remodeling can change the way the house looks to me. A wave of sadness envelopes me. We all worked very hard to just pretend that none of it happened … and we did so quite successfully until the lid blew off and the walls crumbled, and our perfect family façade came crashing down. Continue reading 2018: A Year For Hope (Week 21)
This is not an easy subject, nor a pleasant remembrance for me. I’d much rather stay focused on HOPE and FAITH and maintaining a positive outlook even in the mist of difficulties. But I am feeling prompted to reveal a little more of my story… Continue reading 2018: A Year For Hope (Week 20)
Putting Hope To Work 