2018: A Year For Hope (Week 27)

 

Please excuse the delay in posting.  With the mid-week celebration of Independence Day, I got a little off track and off schedule.

And also, to be quite honest, there is a part of me that doesn’t want to write this anymore.  Not the blog in general, just my story – my testimony.  Up ’til now, I’ve shared about the childhood I remembered, the aching need for love and acceptance that had me searching for a husband at age 14, and the consequences of making choices based on emotional need.

And that was OK, a little sad at times, but it’s all in the past and in hindsight I can look back, sigh, and say “Thank you Lord that I’m not that girl anymore”.

Call Me Beautiful
by Ginny Owens

I’ve been waiting
For a hero who’s brave and strong
Someone to love me
Someone to tell me I belong
So I pretend I’m satisfied
And I stand watching from the sidelines
Till You pull me into the light
And say “It’s Your turn now
Welcome to your life!”

And you call me beautiful
And say You’ve loved me all along
And you’ve always held the keys to unlock my soul
Oh you call me beautiful

I’m sure you’ve got parts of your life you’re not all that proud of either.  We all do.  But a trusted friend would understand that’s part of your past and not judge you for it.  They’d see you for who you are now.  I’m hoping you will do the same.

In this next part of my story …. well, there is a lot about it that I am ashamed of.  Ashamed of my behavior, ashamed of what I let happen to me, and of what I let happen to those that I love.    And I wonder what will be the consequence and impact of my being so bold as to uncover these details of my past (or the details that are appropriate to share in this type of setting).   Will it shift how people see me in my day-job?  Will some people close doors because they’re uncomfortable knowing this much about me?  Will my honesty have any negative impact on my loved ones?

I know.  That’s all the voice of fear speaking, and I shouldn’t be listening to him.

But that’s a big part of the reason why I didn’t post on Thursday as scheduled.

Instead I painted.  Here is a preview of the artwork for the next section of my story.

The Nightmare that was Mr T
“The Nightmare that was Mr. T”  http://www.puttinghopetowork.com

 

Now to breath deeply, pray, and start writing about the worst parts of my life with hope that by doing so, someone might recognize themselves in my story … and more importantly recognize the LIFELINE that is Jesus Christ!

 

 

 

(continuation)

There’s a smile on my face
And a brand new light in my eyes
It’s a new day
And I’ve never felt so alive
I feel as if I could conquer anything
Oh that’s what your love has done for me
And now all I want to be
Is everything you want me to be

And you call me beautiful
And say you’ve loved me all along
And you’ve always held the keys
To unlock my soul, but I didn’t know
Now I can finally start to live
Take those chances I have missed
Things will be much different
Now that I know
You call me beautiful

The story is better than I could dream after all
Now this is reality
To know you and to hear you call me beautiful
Call me beautiful
Now I can finally start to live
Take those chances I have missed
Things will be much different
Now that I know
Now that I know
You call me beautiful

========

All sketches and watercolors posted on this website are the sole property of the author and are for exclusive display on the website PuttingHopeToWork.com.

8 thoughts on “2018: A Year For Hope (Week 27)”

  1. Miss Hope, I want to honor you in a post tomorrow but would like your permission first. I’d like to show you what I like to say first. I wouldn’t want to offend you…

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  2. I know how you feel. I really do. I pray you will know when, if ever, what to share and what to let dissolve. I have a powerful testimony too and somehow I hold back because of opinions that would be formed. I wonder often if I should let some stuff lay in the past, but then I think of that young lady somewhere who needs my brutal honesty. Just sharing, not preaching to you Miss Hope. God bless you

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    1. Yes Amy, you understand completely. I have no desire to regurgitate the past just to tell a story, nor do I find any value in reliving the past over and over again. What I share, I share only to throw out a lifeline to another hurting soul and so that when I later talked about how God has transformed me that the reader has an understanding of where I came from. What he did for me, and does for me, He can and will do for anyone. That’s why I write. But I kind of wish I could just skip over this next section and get to the happier places of freedom and deliverance and restoration. But they’re coming! Happy blogs are coming again! 🙌🙌 Just got to push through this stuff … Sigh.

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      1. I’ll be praying for you. Pray for me to come to place of courage with my own stuff I’ve been avoiding. And yes that’s what it’s about guiding them to Him. I remember thinking even as a young child that God was allowing this stuff my parents drug me through to help others someday, but I got mixed up in the shuffle of it

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