Inspired by my last name, I'm on a journey to better understand the intertwining of FAITH & HOPE.
He controlled me with lies leading up to threats of parental kidnapping. During the final years of our marriage, at least once a week I tuck the kids into bed and watched my husband go out on the town with the live-in Nanny. He says this, but my eyes see that ... or at least I think they do. He says …. read more.
That’s when she told my mom about the abuse she had suffered at the hands of my dad as a young girl. That conversation led my mom to talk to my other two sisters, who both told a similar story. Then they asked me…. had dad every approached me sexually? Of course not! (I had the perfect childhood. Remember?)….
I married “T” on my 21st birthday just two weeks after my divorce finalized. Red flags started going off almost immediately, but I ignored them. I had to. Acknowledging that I might have made a mistake would have meant that I’d be alone again, that I’d be a failure again. And my battered psyche just couldn’t handle that. I needed him, because I needed to be needed and he made me feel needed....
In this next part of my story .... well, there is a lot about it that I am ashamed of. Ashamed of my behavior, ashamed of what I let happen to me, and of what I let happen to those that I love. And I wonder what will be the consequence....
PuttingHopeToWork 